I've decided that the people who cause all the problems are the ones who are just smart enough to be stupid. They're not smart enough to know they're stupid, however.
Stupid people grin a lot. I call it the Darwin Award Acceptance Grin. It could also be called the "Who Needs an Instruction Book on Packing Your Own Parachute Grin."
Because stupid people are so sure they are smart, they often act smart, and sometimes even smart people are too stupid to recognize that the stupid people acting smart really are stupid.
Consequently, stupid people acting smart are often promoted to positions of authority, and the smart people who were too stupid to recognize that the stupid people were only acting smart, wind up working for the stupid people.
It's only then that they realize that the stupid people really ARE stupid and it's not just an act. And boy, do the smart people feel stupid when that happens.
Genuine smart people are always wondering if they're stupid. They even dream they are stupid. Stupid people just dream about lower phyla animals they erroneously believe are stupider than they are.
And sometimes even smart people look stupid because of circumstances beyond their control. For example, there was the time my car wash code wouldn't work.
See, I had gotten this code without realizing that the car wash was out of order. The door was closed, but I thought it was just a high tech thing and would open up once I put in my code.
So I did.
The code gizmo said to drive through, but the door didn't open. I was then smart enough to figure out that it was low-tech and broken. I'd try later.
My car was really dirty the day I did a Civil War demo at my son's school. The stupid code wouldn't work again. So I went inside.
I complained to the attendant about the bad code. He said it had been used already, and I said, "That's impossible. Look at the dirt on my car."
He kept repeating it was used already, while he looked over my shoulder at the long line of people waiting to pay for their Mega Gulps. I was smart enough to see how stupid I looked in a Confederate uniform arguing about a wash code with a stupid person acting smart.
I was embarrassed that all these people thought I was trying to cop a free car wash. Accuse me of being a bank robber or something, but not of being a stupid Confederate carwash bandit.
When smart people get embarrassed, they do something about it. So I went out to my car looking for some scissors or something to cut up my credit card.
All I had was my dull Confederate pocket knife, so I slashed the card all up, and I was smart enough to notice that I had slashed my thumb up in the process.
I marched back into that store, smacked my card slivers down on the counter, splattering blood everywhere, and I thought to myself "Hah! Take THAT, stupid person acting smart! NOW who looks stupid?!!"
I complained to the stupid oil company, who sent me some free car wash codes. "That's because they don't ever want to see you inside their store again," my wife said.
"Come on, they didn't give me THAT many free codes," I argued.
"Oh no?" she said. "How many people have washed all the paint off their car, Zed?"
She thinks she's so smart.
